Swipe Left if you wanna get out

Have you ever picked up on a night out and had it led to something more?  You’d probably get better odds on the Brisbane Lions making the final eight this year, than a long-term relationship evolving from a random bar hookup.

This leads to singles of today, using online dating sites for hookups or the search for the big L.  As it is #yearofthedate, I have reactivated my Tinder account to swipe away for dating potential.  The plan for Tinder use this year is to cut off the creeps straight away, don’t put up with the dirty talkers and catch up with anyone who seems reasonable.

Ah Tinder it never disappoints for entertainment.  Within 10 minutes of reactivating my account and swiping right on a few potentials, I had matched with two guys.  The first one got straight to the point and asked if I do ‘anal’!

Now there are two approaches in dealing with this question.  The first approach to say ‘Yes, I love anal.  I especially enjoy putting on my strap on and fucking guys up the arse’ – the aim of this is to freak them out, shut them up and move them on.  Saying this however backfired on me once, as I had matched with a dude that was obsessed with pegging.  Wow was he keen to peg again!  Let me stress, the best approach is to block this wanker straight away.

The second guy I matched with asked if he could come straight over to my house.  My head always screams ‘serial killer’ alert – inviting a stranger into your home doesn’t seem like a sensible idea and I’ve watched too many crime documentaries to make sure I double-check my doors are locked before I go to sleep at night.  However seriously when you think about it, inviting random tinder guys over for fun times isn’t that much different from all those one night stands we have all had.

Tinder should also come with a health warning, as the quality of men participating on that app makes a girl want to head straight to the RSPCA to purchase half a dozen abandoned cats.  To survive you need to have a good sense of humour and enjoy the weird array of profile photos these men choose to display in order to attract us women – my favourite photo so far has been of a single roll of toilet paper (why?)

What is the most attractive profile photo you have experienced on Tinder?

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