TRSI – Tinder Repetitive Swipe Injury could occur if you continuously swipe ‘Nope‘ to what is on offer within the application. To combat this injury health experts recommend that on occasion you should swipe ‘Yes‘ to exercise the finger muscles in another direction.
To avoid developing this injury, I lower my tinder expectations and swipe ‘Yes’ on occasion. This helped me secure date two last week. We bonded by discussing the indie alternative music scene in the 90’s and he suggested meeting up for a drink.
My expectations were set to low as a means of helping to avoid disappointment, and this is also probably why I hung around the pub and 40 minutes waited for him to turn up – he was late due to bad traffic.
After finally arriving, he didn’t inquire if I parched from waiting for so long or offer any form of hydration, he just purchased only himself a beverage and sat down. He then proceeded tell me about this hot ‘model’ looking women he was talking to on tinder.
He was having trouble understanding why she was holding back on telling him personal information about herself. This frustrating him, so he decided to use the internet to inquire about her – you know, a few google image searches and Facebook checks, but oh no….he’s not stalker.
So he wasn’t a stalker, but wow he was a talker. This what I learnt about him:
- works in recruitment, helping unemployed people find jobs.
- parents divorced when he was 8 years old and he only saw is father about 9 times after he left the family.
- his father recently died.
- his mother never remarried.
- went to a good private school.
- he has 2 sisters and a brother.
- one of his sisters lives in the city.
- he has a niece and nephew.
- he is teaching his niece the guitar.
- likes to learn a new song each week on his guitar.
- owns his own place.
- surfs as much as possible.
- doesn’t like camping.
- likes to go on snowboarding holidays.
- doesn’t like to on holidays in 3rd world countries.
- the majority of his friends are divorced and now have new girlfriends they meet through Tinder.
- he saw the red hot chilli peppers in the 90’s and was disappointed in their stage presence.
- regrets never having seen the band Sound Garden live in concert.
- once he could have hooked up with one of his mates ex girlfriends but he felt weird about it so he didn’t.
- was into Ecstasy in the 90’s but hasn’t taken drugs for years.
- driving makes him nervous and so he drives like a Nanna.
- he is an introvert and isn’t sure if he wants to change his life and ways for a women.
He managed to convey quite a lot about his life in the 2 hours we spoke but by far his most interesting trait was……that he doesn’t like dogs. Who the fuck doesn’t like dogs?!?! He thinks they are a dirty animals and if people let them into their houses that they should wipe their bottoms before they come inside. I seriously laughed out loud at this suggestion. Although, on reflection there could be a great business idea in that …. doggie wipes or puppy poo paper….what do you think?
After hearing his fascinating life story, he asked out about my occupation and the suburb where I live. Given the opportunity to finally speak, I told him that I’m not interested in seeing him again and departed to find a cab.
The search continues…….