Random Encounter One – Pity Please

A National public holiday is the perfect time to have a few sips of your favour poison and dance your way around the hippest bar in the city.  People are super relaxed, out for a chat and a good time.

I celebrated the most recent public holiday with a very Aussie BBQ at a mates place.  Following some food and beers, we headed out to a local pub to continue celebrating the awesome country we are lucky to live in.  My feet were in a dancing mood and for the rest of the night I was ‘that girl’ on the dance floor, drunkenly moving to the rocking beats.

Towards the end of the evening, well actually to be honest it was early in the morning, a tall blonde man came over for a chat.  He worked in the Army, told me his goal in life was to be the Prime Minister and we owned the dance floor together.  As the bar was clearing out for the night, his Army mate joined us and we walked upstairs and out to the cab line.  Randomly he lived in the same suburb as me and we all shared a cab home.

They asked me come in for a beer and I thought – why not #yearofthedate.  Army man two offered me a beer and at this point I should have gotten up and ran.  Not that they were being creepy or sleazy but because their choice of music was Nickelback –     #iamamusicsnob.

Halfway through the beer and 3 Nickelback songs later, my eye caught the time and my body instantly decided it wanted to head home to my one true love – my bed.  So I stood up, said thanks for the beer, nice to meet you and headed out the door.

As I crossed the main road and headed in the direction of my place, I heard Army man two call out ‘Hey, wait up’.   When he caught up with me, he proceeded to tell me that he noticed me first on the dance floor but was too shy to approach me – oh cute.  This would have been the perfect time for him to lean in for a kiss, because lets face it, if a man is a greater kisser its kinda hard to say no to what would come next.

Unfortunately he must have missed that article in Maxium, as the kiss moment was replaced with ‘come back to my place for a bit of fun?’.  After saying ‘No thanks, I’m tired and it’s 5 am’, he moaned that I didn’t understand the situation.

‘Ok then…help me understand’ I said.

‘Ah well it’s been a while for me and you should really help me out’ he said.

I responded with ‘so I should have sex with you because you haven’t had it in a while? Sorry dude I don’t do pity fucks!’.

He turned and put his head down and slowly walked away.  Was this a missed opportunity for some random fun or did I make the right call?

As a side note, Army man two was a gym junkee.  He was huge and walked like a gorilla.  When I was sitting next to him on the couch, his arms and legs were very prickly.  He told me apparently when you go to the gym as much as he does, it helps to shave all your body hair off – wtf is this true?  What would have it been like to have sexy time with a prickly body?  I guess you would end up with something like pash rash all over your body?  Has anyone been in this situation?  Would love to hear about it…..