Date Four – The Self Soother

Lessons learnt from date three, meant that on date number four only soda water was consumed.  We met online and had planned to catch up a couple times, but due to changing work commitments I had to put him off for a number of weeks.  By this stage of Year of the Date, I was suffering from a little dose of dating fatigue so I made the date mid morning to limit the date time frame.

A recurring theme of tinder dates seems to be hearing about previous dating experiences.  Date Four had come up with specific geographical and professional requirements following a combination of failed dates.  These requirements include only dating women who lived inner city and had a high earning capacity.

Wow – what a way to limit to meeting your future partner!  When I pushed him more to expand on why, his true reason emerged.  He was concerned that women will only want him for his money!  Apparently he has more money than he can spend and for the next 20 minutes I heard what a struggle it is to spend his piles of cash.

Talking about money when you first meet someone is a turn off for me.  I’m not a women who is after someone to make me feel secure via money, I earn my own coin and can support myself financially to buy whatever I need.

After the hearing about his spending struggles, I learnt that he was a self soother and by self soother I mean a masturbater.  He had recently ended a relationship and to help himself sleep, he masturbates at 10 pm each night and then hugs a pillow to sooth himself off to dreamland.

Not embarrassed about his self soothing behaviour, he later told me another story about how his neighbour knocked on his door one night and caught him madly masturbating.  Now everyone masturbates right, I just don’t think we all bring it up in conversation within an hour of meeting someone new.

Perhaps he can use his self soothing techniques to assist with him with the disappointment of me not wishing to see him again…. but please sir, don’t use me as your inspiration.

The search continues……

 

You gotta give good to get good (conversation, that is)

pexels-photo-699122.jpeg

What’s the best opening line on an online dating app? Perhaps a joke, an interesting question, a witty remark or just an observation?

Here are some of the gems I’m experiencing:

  • Hey sexy
  • Now there’s a tigress…
  • Hey you are really stunning, I’m free call me 04xx xxx xxx
  • I think we’d look great together
  • How are you?
  • How’s your week been?
  • Great smile
  • Where are you?
  • I see we have matched, so I thought I would break the ice and say hello
  • What’s your deal?
  • What are you up to?
  • Some version of my favourite type of  joke (which I mention in my profile)
  • And one of my personal favourites……If we were cooking a pizza together, would we be adding pineapple or not adding pineapple?

It’s hard to make the first move and it’s hard to convey humour over text, so, gentlemen, keep trying your best. Some have really made me laugh and some I’ve really tried to make the best of.

The search continues…

Swipe Left if you wanna get out

Have you ever picked up on a night out and had it led to something more?  You’d probably get better odds on the Brisbane Lions making the final eight this year, than a long-term relationship evolving from a random bar hookup.

This leads to singles of today, using online dating sites for hookups or the search for the big L.  As it is #yearofthedate, I have reactivated my Tinder account to swipe away for dating potential.  The plan for Tinder use this year is to cut off the creeps straight away, don’t put up with the dirty talkers and catch up with anyone who seems reasonable.

Ah Tinder it never disappoints for entertainment.  Within 10 minutes of reactivating my account and swiping right on a few potentials, I had matched with two guys.  The first one got straight to the point and asked if I do ‘anal’!

Now there are two approaches in dealing with this question.  The first approach to say ‘Yes, I love anal.  I especially enjoy putting on my strap on and fucking guys up the arse’ – the aim of this is to freak them out, shut them up and move them on.  Saying this however backfired on me once, as I had matched with a dude that was obsessed with pegging.  Wow was he keen to peg again!  Let me stress, the best approach is to block this wanker straight away.

The second guy I matched with asked if he could come straight over to my house.  My head always screams ‘serial killer’ alert – inviting a stranger into your home doesn’t seem like a sensible idea and I’ve watched too many crime documentaries to make sure I double-check my doors are locked before I go to sleep at night.  However seriously when you think about it, inviting random tinder guys over for fun times isn’t that much different from all those one night stands we have all had.

Tinder should also come with a health warning, as the quality of men participating on that app makes a girl want to head straight to the RSPCA to purchase half a dozen abandoned cats.  To survive you need to have a good sense of humour and enjoy the weird array of profile photos these men choose to display in order to attract us women – my favourite photo so far has been of a single roll of toilet paper (why?)

What is the most attractive profile photo you have experienced on Tinder?

Date One – Is age a barrier?

Throughout my adult life I have lived by one rule when it comes to dating and relationships – don’t screw the crew.  Mainly because I want to be viewed as a professional at work, but also, I want to avoid being to topic of water cooler conversations.  This self-imposed rule was put to the test when a cute guy from work asked me out.

As it is #yearofthedate, its time to push through my normal boundaries and break a few rules…..so I said ‘yes’.  On a side note, I found him adorably cute and our paths in the office won’t cross much, both of which made it easier to break my rule.

We caught up one Friday night in January at a Mexican place we both enjoy.  He brought me dinner and I shouted the drinks.  Conversation was easy and we chatted about careers, past relationships, our mutual love of horror movies and travelling for around 6 hours.  It was a fun and easy date, clearly there was an attraction between us and we ended the night with a little kiss.

This was a nearly perfect dating scenario.  Attraction, easy conversation and loads of fun.  The only potential issue is his age – 23!  Is a 17 year age difference a big barrier for a relationship?  My friends would not call me an ‘ageist’ and they will tell you I do like the younger fellas, but are any of the following a reason to not go on another date with this guy:

  • He still lives at home with this parents and his mother still cooks and cleans for him?
  • He has just started his first job out of university and as such I assume I’m earning 3 to 4 times more cash than him?
  • He doesn’t have a car or a drivers licence?

So what do you think?  Should I head back out there for some Mexican with Mr 23?

#yearofthedate

Many years ago, a clairvoyant told me I wouldn’t find the love of my life until I was 40.  While I took the whole reading as a laugh, late last year I celebrated that significant milestone birthday and alias still single with no love of my life.

Could it be that this clairvoyant was right?  Perhaps this year it will happen?  The big dilemma is how will this happen in a world of casual hook-ups and disposal relationships?

Luckily for me, I have squad of beautiful blonde ladies who are in the same boat (or super yacht) to deliberate this over with while consuming adult beverages.   So as the new year ticked over a new attitude towards finding ‘the one’ was born – #yearofthedate

2018 is the year of the date.  We will date more, find new avenues to meet people and have less casual hook-ups ……hmmm maybe we will see about that last one.

Enjoy this voyage with us.